Great question! When I teach at camps, I notice as a general observation that people who are new to the instrument are playing too light, and people who have been playing a long time are playing too hard.
I’ve been trying to lighten up the way I play because I feel like my accuracy improves when I’m not playing so hard, and I think I get a better tone. Does it help watch me play on some of the videos on the site? Does that give you an idea of how hard your playing, compared to how hard I’m playing? If you want to send a quick video of you playing a song, I might be able to offer some more help.